I was in full-time ministry, and struggling with anxiety, but I found hope and help.

           I am 40 years old, happily married with 2 children and have been in full-time ministry for over 10 years. To the outside world, I was part of a vibrant outreach to young people, and I was. But there was another story that few people ever heard. A few years into full-time ministry I began having an intense personal battle with anxiety. It was beyond normal anxiety. I began having panic episodes when there was no reason to panic and things as simple as being in a crowded room or ordering food at a restaurant were oddly enough producing intense anxiety.

          The exact reasons why it all came about, I'm still not sure, except I believe God used it teach me about community and to begin bringing healing around deeper issues in my life. I thought I was supposed to have it all together, but I knew nothing could be further from the truth. My approach to ministry is now fundamentally different. I now lead not without, or in spite of, my weaknesses, but rather out of my weaknesses, recognizing that is where we really learn the depths of God's grace and where God gets the most glory.

          Waking the Passion gave me a place to be real, when others didn't want to, or perhaps didn't know how to, respond to the crisis in my life. I found a safe place to process my life when I needed it in a big way. They didn't have all the answers but they just came along side me in love, letting me know it wasn't about having it all together, but instead it was about living authentically.  

 Gary A. - Houston, TX